Hey y’all, GOODe Ole Boy here.
We knew that this day would eventually come. The day when Miss Add would find out one of our deepest, darkest secrets. We tried successfully for over four years to keep this from her but today she found out… There’s more than one Gilbert.
You might recall when Daddy forgot to grab Gilbert after picking up Miss Add from Grandma Goode’s house a few years back and how Mommy created a little insurance policy to ensure that a meltdown would never happen again.
That little policy has paid off many times over the years. Gilbert tended to get food, marker, dirt, etc. on him all the time so we’d just toss him in the washer, yet would magically be clean and dry just seconds later and back in Miss Add’s arms. One night she was upstairs and saw Gilbert in the dryer, but swore up and down that he was downstairs. Cris covered by saying that he could crawl through walls. Sure enough Miss Add went downstairs and there he was on the floor of the living room. Mommy even scratched on the wall upstairs to give the magic some effect. Miss Add was in awe of the magic. Well, sadly today the magic ended…
We are giving Miss Add more responsibilities around the house. She is responsible for cleaning her room and emptying the dishwasher of the things she can reach to put away. I have given her the new task of pulling clothes out of the washer and putting them in the dryer. I sent her upstairs, not even thinking of the Gilbert Gang hid in one of the cabinets above the washer. I told her to switch the laundry over and she went on her merry way. Then I heard it… “HUH?!?!” ”WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?” Then she came downstairs and said the words every father fears, “Daddy, we need to talk…” I look over and she is holding 3 Gilberts. My heart immediately sank.
Cris and I had talked about how we would handle it when she found out the news. We feared what her reactions might be. What would we say to her? What would she say and think of us? Would she immediately go crazy or just curl up in a ball and suck her thumb? (which she stopped doing right after she first met Gilbert) Would she hate us for the lie we have been living all these years?
Turns out she was all excited! She said that her Gilbert was multiplying! She was convinced that the magic within Gilbert made him duplicate himself. I could have let this go, but I knew that she needed the truth. I explained the Gilbert insurance policy to her and even told her that there were two more Gilberts out there. One at each of her grandparents’ houses. She handled the news better than we expected. In fact as I write this she has her Gilberts lined up on the floor and she is pacing back and forth while explaining to them which one is the real Gilbert. Her evidence is clear… The real Gilbert is the one with marinara sauce on his face because he really likes spaghetti.
Three things were made clear today: Miss Add is growing up, Gilbert needs a bath and Cris and I wouldn’t fare very well in the CIA…