Achieving Balance

Dear Reader-

I have a treat for you today. My dear pal Bernice from Living a Balance Life  is going to share her Super Mommy Secrets to the holy grail of motherhood… achieving balance.

I met Bernice back last winter when I attended Blissdom scared to death because I didn’t know a soul. Bernice was one of the open arms I fell right into and before long she and the other members of our little #untribe became fast friends– literally changing my life.

Anyhoo, I adore Miss Bernice and I know you will too. And, I also know you will appreciate her helpful Super Mommy Secrets in this area.

Ever since I came across Goodeness Gracious late last year, I have enjoyed reading the posts here and checking out the recipes. I love the Cris says her blog is about good food with a side of life! While I like reading about food, I am no good at writing about it (or cooking it much either, lol!)  What I can write about is life, and that is what I want to share with you today.

There is no denying that life is faster than it has ever been. With all of our modern day conveniences, instead of making life necessarily easier, it has caused expectations to be increased on what we “should” be able to accomplish. And I don’t think it matters if you live in New York City or on a farm in Iowa, life can be just as fast as we let it become.

This is something that a lot of people don’t actually realize. You have some control over how fast and crazy your life is. Maybe not over every single detail, but you do have many options available to you, and based on how you approach those options, can greatly affect your quality of life.

When it comes down to it, it is about deciding what is most important to you and to your family. Making those decisions up front will help you to make better decisions on the fly, or when you are faced with a major decision. So many people are living SO fast that they hardly even slow down when presented with an opportunity. If it sounds good they do it, even if they really may not want to.  (learn how to say NO!)

Making hard choices

To try and counteract our fast lives, many women have made some hard choices. Some have chosen to leave jobs and be at home with their children, because being there is important to them. Others may not have left the workplace, but chose a different, possibly lesser paying position to allow more flexibility around their families. Some, like Cris, left a great career, and chose to start her own business to have more time and be involved with Miss Add as she is growing up. Starting a business is NOT easy, but many women have done it for that flexibility. Doesn’t necessarily mean they work less, they just have more control over the hours!

Many times what can also run us crazy as moms is all the activities our children are in. This is a perfect example of figuring out what is important to you, your children and your entire family.

My youngest daughter who is now 18, loved to dance as a young girl. She also loved horses. Before we were able to get her a horse, we enrolled her in 4H where she participated in Horse Judging and Horse Quizzing. Once she actually got a horse, she dropped those activities and spent more time riding, and eventually entered 4H horse shows.

We also found a dance school that we loved. They were good, but it was not about competing, it was about enriching the talent that God gave you. She did have dance usually on 2 different nights a week.

Because of her love of these activities, everything else she was presented with was measured against these. She did not do cheering, soccer, or rec softball (very intense here!). She tried cross country track, but it took too much time. There were many times she had to turn down an activity, not necessarily because it was a direct time conflict, but because she (and I) was already stretched as far as we were willing to stretch. Being gone every evening of the week was not an option.

This becomes even more difficult when you have multiple children. Even 2 or 3 weekly activities for each child and you will have a crazy schedule! When possible, try to group activities. I mentioned my daughter did not play rec softball. My 3 kids did play at a church league. They had a 1 hour practice per week, and one game a week, on Friday evening or Saturday morning. I always had at least 2 kids on the same team because of ages. It was a great time of fun for them and for us, something we did together. They actually played for 10 years, until they were each too old to play!

What is important to YOUR family?

Consider what you want your family culture to look like. Consider what is important for you to pass on to your children. Is it important that you have dinner at home every night? Set standards that you want in your home and family. By doing this ahead of time, when you are presented with something, it will be much easier to weight it against your standard and see if it is even feasible.

I get that sometimes a major opportunity will come along, one you don’t want to pass up. If that is the case, then see if you can reduce something else in your life. Either way, if you make the decision knowing it is a priority for your family, it makes it easier to live with!

So, how about you? Would you like to slow life down? What are some decisions you need to make about your priorities?