Balloons

I am convinced that the idea of balloons was created by someone who hates children and wants to torture them and their helpless parents.

Balloons do 2 things.

They either pop or they fly away.

If they escape these realities they can look forward to simply deflating.

Regardless a disappointed child and a parent who knew the balloon was ill-fated to begin with are left to pick up the rubber pieces.

Case in point: Tonight we went to Red Robin.

Add was OBSESSED with getting a yellow balloon. We told her she had to wait until after dinner to get the balloon. It was ALL she could talk about and she even got a time out in the middle of dinner because she began misbehaving because she wanted the balloon NOW.

After dinner we finally got the yellow balloon and Add–she was one happy camper. She glowed with excitement. After negotiating with her to tie her balloon to her wrist, we made our way out the door caring for the balloon as if it were a pet.

Once in the car, the balloon got caught in the seatbelt and Miss Add began to panic. Daddy stops the car to fix the problem and gets the balloon back in it’s rightful place.

After an hour of whining to “get” the balloon and 15 minutes of “situating” the balloon we were finally on our way home to watch it deflate when not 2 minutes into the car ride home:

POP!

No, we weren’t shot… although you wouldn’t have been able to tell that by the wailing that was going on in the back seat.

Poor Miss Add.

It was so sad.

Sure balloons hide behind clowns to make themselves look good, but I am convinced it is just a facade to hide their real intended purpose:

Kiddie torture.

Just sayin’